We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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