You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
