She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
