I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
