So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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