Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
