maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
