....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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