Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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