Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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