You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
