i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
