I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
