We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
