i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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