I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
