some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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