chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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