Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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