He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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