I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
