She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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