And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
