don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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