no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
