this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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