Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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