girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
