it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
