summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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