just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
handjob tips. give me some.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
