oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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