i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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