Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
