Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
