"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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