If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
