I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
