feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
