Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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