I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
