i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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