Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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