Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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