And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
