I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Randomize
