I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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