Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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