I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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