What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
