i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
