I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
where are my pants?
in the oven.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
