I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
