Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
