I met the friendliest cop last night
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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