haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
